Thursday, May 11, 2006

jewels and dust

garden abstract artJewels of the springtime, all the trees are in flower, and it is oh so relative, like everything else... there is always dust on the shiniest floor and mirror when the light hits them.

I have stopped wanting things.

Call that laziness, call it that idiotic idiom "go with the flow", but things seem to be coming when you do not expect them.

When life lights up and lightens up, as if someone had switched on the lights... I feel so much younger than several weeks ago. That was a change of heart. I decided it is going to be okay. I decided it will change by itself, just stop watching the same film where you are just a spectator. And. The outside is changing too. I have stopped hating Canada so much versus Europe. It was just me - and this nowhere town. There is no furious questioning about future.

It is just that - all relative, jewels and dust.

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18 Comments:

At 1:53 PM, Blogger Antonia said...

did you smoke weed?:)

 
At 2:36 PM, Blogger ann marie again said...

What??? You mean have some angel dust? No the neuro won't give me any, ha ha...

 
At 2:37 PM, Blogger ann marie again said...

Was it that crazy..

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger ann marie again said...

I get it. I am relaxed. Me. Yeah me.

 
At 3:16 PM, Blogger Antonia said...

no, not crazy...just so easy...but also sad I found...sometimes not to want things because one is just relaxed and satisfied is one thing, but never to want some anymore?

 
At 5:52 PM, Blogger ann marie again said...

Hi!

I get it....but it is a kind of belief {yes that} that everything is going to be fine if I start worrying so much... that I will get there easier if I stop worrying so much.

But "I've been wrong before, and I'll be there again" and I still want change, just I don't wanna bang my head... lol... I am not resigned. Kind of .... optimistic...

Maybe it is crazy after so many torments...

take care...

 
At 10:32 PM, Blogger Antonia said...

oh that way round... yes...definately good when there's less worry...I understand
sometimes changes come easier when one is in that mood, that's true...

 
At 11:08 PM, Blogger ann marie again said...

Hi.... Yeah and that is that mood here..

Gettin' there but no worries about it. Because it seems the wind has changed its direction... "comes a time" kind of feeling so no need for a head-banging ball here... the guy here is okay and not giving me shit so that's nice too...

talk about things soon... I am seeing Marc tomorrow...


Ann Marie, yes, me!

 
At 12:37 PM, Blogger Antonia said...

yes,no headbanging and no headache...
different colours, nice...
I know what you mean with being different you's - me myself and I...:)
have fun

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger ann marie again said...

Hi a bit busy but I want to email you soon, my Friday date was very very unexpectedly a date... very interesting this going on...

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger Antonia said...

hi ok....hope it was unexpectec good...did some tiny things at brownie, waking up my brain at last...
take care & enjoy yourself

 
At 10:22 AM, Blogger Jod{i} said...

This may not be the spot...but it is all yours and just for You I wanted to say, I hope you have a beautiful Mother's Day!

Peace

 
At 1:09 AM, Blogger ann marie again said...

And you too Jod{i} - this is the right spot!

 
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